The Education of Aries

Me and my boy like to do lists. In the past three days alone we've done these lists:
- Old (over 40) people that could still "get it"
- Top 7 Jordan designs
- Top 5 Greatest Runningbacks of all time
- Top 5 Male R&B Singers of All-Time
- Top 5 Female R&B Singer of All-Time
- Classy Women (the quintessential "ladies")
- Top 10 Craziest Folks in Show Biz
- White Celebs that could "get it"

Then we got around to hip-hop. We did the male MC's and then it came time for the females. My pick for number one? None other than my girl L-Boogie. Agree or don't, I could care less. No female emcee lyrics have ever had the effect that Boog's have for me. So a la Suezette and recent Diggs (check the sidebar, it's 5 am, too late to be linking), I've decided to break down some aspects of my life, past and present, using lyrics, from L-Boog of course, as the springboards.



"And even after all my logic and my theory, I add a 'muthafucka' so you ignant niggas hear me"
I'll never forget the first time I performed a piece up here. It was titled "Tough Love" and at the time it was very dear to my heart because it was based on a situation that I was still in. So I went up there, performed it, gave it my all and it was met with wild applause. That's supposed to be a good thing...right?

Let me give you some background info on the piece. It's about the difference between making love and fucking. (Now granted, there is a time for both, but that is neither here nor there) In it, I depict a situation that occured quite often in my relationship at the time. I would try to make love and show him how much he meant to me and somehow we would end up fucking. (Once again, there is NOTHING wrong with fucking - it has it's time.) Some of you may be able to feel me on this. But EVERYTIME I tried to make love to him, he would end taking it to that XXXX rating.

So, here I am, trying to put this situation into words and how it made me feel and I've just put my all into this performance and recieved mad applause. So I feel good...until after the set. Anyone who has ever been on stage knows that it's after the performance that you really get to hear what people thought. So, after a few people came up and told me how they enjoyed it, there was a string of about 4 people that told me that my piece made them all hot and bothered. WTF? Wait a minute, you are not supposed to feel sexy after that! You are supposed to feel my pain, feel the emotional torment that situation caused me....aww fuck it...such is the dilemma of a poet.

There are just some pieces that fly over the heads of others that you know in your heart you can't change. And sometimes I do feel obligated to add that "muthafucka" or that "LISTEN TO THIS!!" line right before I have a big point, just to be sure those not quite up to par people get what I want them to out of it, but then I say...eh well....fuck that. I'm not compromising my shit for anybody.


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"See hoochies pop coochies, for Gucci's and Lucci
Find me in my Mitsubishi, eatin' sushi, bumpin' Fugees."
As I'm sure I've mentioned before, the majority of Black males that attend my university are here because of athletics. On a campus where there are under 200 domestic (read: descendents of slaves) Blacks, the dating pool is VERY slim.

Enter the Becky's and Susan's and Melissa's of the world. These hoes (and yes, I mean that in the sexual way) prey on my Black brothers and look at them with green money bags dancing across their pupils. They know that the men that come out of here have a very good chance of being successful in the pro leagues and at life in general. So they run around with no shame, legs open like express lanes and throats relaxed. Now, I can't fully blame them, these niggas must take some of the guilt too. But, I am sick of seeing it. And the sad thing is, these negros see nothing wrong in partaking of the free goodies as long as they don't enter into serious relationships with them. Hello? Have we learned nothing from these famous Negros currently going through courts because of some shit that was "just sex?"

Then these same negros get mad because none of the Black girls wanna get with them. Well let's see, you've been through the entire freshman AND sophomore rush class of XYZ sorority (and those white orginizations rush like 30 at a time!) and you expect me to listen to you, much less fuck with you? Hell naw! And not only that, but you wanna sit there and think that you can talk to me any kinda fuckin way? No thank you Negro, you can find me in my Nissan, eating salad and croutons and listening to that new Legend, John.

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"I was blessed, but couldn't feel it like when I was caressed
I'd spend nights clutching my breasts overwhelmed by God's test
I was God's best contemplating death with a Gillette
But no man is ever worth the paradise MANIFEST"
Whew...this is another day, but just know that this spoke to my situation SO well at one time.

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"Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity"
When in love, I give my all. I have to keep referring back to my last relationship, because if you haven't guessed by now, that nigga put me through hell. But all that aside, it's the relationship I learned the most from. I gave him my ALL. I was 16 when we started dating, he was 22. I was the one driving cross-city to see him. I skipped programs intended to get me ahead in life to spend 30 minutes driving to see him and 15 minutes actually being with him. I sacrificed my relationships with my mom, my dad and my friends I've had for YEARS all to be with him. I did anything he asked. I cooked (I don't cook for my damn self!), I cleaned, I rolled blunts that never touched my lips. I pulled my car up on the sides of buildings I'd never been to in my life, pulled alongside vehicles with tints and didn't know who was inside of them. I cut school and lied to almost everyone. All out of a desperation to be with him. I was his confidant, his mother, his sister, his girl, his virgin, his freak, his spiritual partner, his wife and his "business partner." I played so many roles for this nigga that I forget who the hell I truly was.

In the final stages of out relationship, I found that a lot of our arguments centered around him saying that I treated him like "the low man on the totem pole" and me getting irate and having to run down all the shit I did for him. It always ended up with me asking when he was going to do for me. When I would recieve 1/10 of the devotion and dedication I put in. When I realized I was never going to get any of it back, I started looking at myself, wondering what I did wrong, wondering if I didn't do enough (ha!).Then I realized all that shit I was doing wasn't me. It was me being who he wanted. And I came to the conclusion that in order to get back what I put in, I have to give of MYSELF, not someone else's idea of who I should be.

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"Just as Christ was a Superstar, you stupid, Star
They hail you then nail you, no matter who you are"
I would love to post this on the forehead of EVERY arrogant negro that I know. Our society centers itself so much around pop culture that we forget to humble ourselves. But it's so true that the same people that make you can break you. It doesn't matte who you are, you never know when the tables will turn and the Mercedes you were riding in yesterday becomes the house you are living in today.

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"Expert witness (the paid authority)
Made a priority to deceive the majority
Of disinterested peers
Dodging duty for years
Hating the process
waiting to be returning to their careers"
If that doesn't describe our court system, I don't know what does. The corruption of the judicial branch is the main reason I am trying to stray away from law school. I don't think I have the heart to see a system that is made of serve the people and reveal those that are innocent repeatedly prosecute those who are the poorest.


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"Loving you is a like a song I replay
Every three minutes and thirty seconds of every day",
Excerpt from one the nicest verses ever (if you ask me). I didn't get the impact of this statement until about 2 years ago. Think of your current favorite JAM. You know, the one that makes you cut the radio in your car all the way up, roll up the windows and transports you everytime you hear it. Think of that hypeness you feel everytime your "song" comes on. Think about how when you finally got it put on a CD, you pressed the "repeat" button too many times to count, just so you could feel that same way a little bit longer than the first 3 minutes and 52 seconds. Imagine feelings that same way about the love you share with someone. Damn that line is sick. I'm waiting for the day that I can say that to someone.



****Major cookies to you if you can name the songs these came from (don't be googlin' the shit, neitha!)****