This Bitch is Sick!!

I am a punk. Wait, now. Before you start thinking of all types of plans to get over on me, let me explain. I'm a straight punk when it comes to being sick. I absolutely hate to feel under the weather. The slightest bit of a sniffle and I put all extracurricular activites on hold. Going to the club at 11 pm? Not if I just sneezed at 10:30. My ass will be in the house. (For further proof, refer to the ending of Ain't That a Bitch?? to see how I avoid being sick.)

I tend to stay in for a number of reasons. First off, I never have much fun when I am sick. There are some people who are able to momentarily put aside their sickness for a good time. Not my ass, I'll be in the corner somewhere, sneezing and coughing and feeling like the world will end while my homegirl is on the floor droppin that shit like it's a 4 alarm fire. Not my idea of a good time. Secondly, I like to share my germs as infrequently as possible. I think it's plain rude to come to a place where you know healthy folks will be chillin' and invade the shit with your nasty ass sickly monsters. Keep that shit to yourself. I don't care if you cover your mouth every time you cough, we will probably eventually use the same doorknob, touch the same bar, or (if it's a good night) swing around the same pole. *wink* Thirdly, I cannot concentrate for SHIT when I'm sick. I rarely get severely sick anymore, but when I do, it's BAD. And when I get sick, I cannot concentrate on anything but trying to live. Listen to what the professor is droning on and on about? Forget it. I'm concentrating on how to make my congested lungs continue taking in air! Shaking it fast on some young man? Uh uh. I'm plotting a plan on how to supress coughs that feel like the next one will bring up a liver!

Seeing as I am considerate, I (perhaps naively) expect other people to be the same way.

But nawwwww.....

These suckas (read: white folk) don't let anything short of a recent amputation stop them from going anywhere. Example:
Today in my Political Science class, I'm trying to be all dedicated student-ish and listen to the lecture, when I hear this incessant coughing coming from the left side. It wasn't a "some water went down the wrong pipe" type cough either. This shit was nasty, you could hear the sick monster slime in every hack. So, I glance at the chick out of the corner of my eye and see that not only does she have a ROLL of gawwdamn toilet paper, she has about 15 cough drop wrappers strewn all over the desk. That tells me that she was prepared. This cough/cold wasn't some shit that decided to sneak up and attack her on the way to class. No, this was some shit she brought a roll of toilet paper (a rather inconvienient thing to carry, I might add) and an entire bag of cough drops (which she HAD to go somewhere to buy...I don't care, nobody should have more than a few leftover cough drops in their possession at a time. This bitch had a whole bag.) to defend. Premeditated infection of the masses. That shit ought to be a federal charge. If you know that you are sick at least an hour before you are scheduled to be at an event, but you proceeded to go anyway, yo' ass WILL be hit with this charge.

Stay yo' sick ass at home. For all of us.