"Como se dice...baby mama drama en EBONICS?"

****Found this in the unposted crates (ok, ok...it's only from January 13, but hey...)***

I'm used to being the only Black person in class. No, really, I am. That's not the problem. Before I start to ranting, let me tell you what happened:

In my creative nonfiction class, my professor walks in today and says he wants everyone to share a story from over the break. To start off with, he tells us how he just found out his cat is dying and how he is kinda torn up about how his 3 year old will comprehend the change. So everyone goes around and they tell their little stories - burning houses, drunken fights, mishaps here and there. Then it gets to this one chick. The first words out of her mouth were "I'm debating on what is too much information." One guy tells her ass to "stop right there." Joking, of course, but perhaps he had something going there. So she continues and goes on this whole tirade about how she's in this interracial relationship and blah blah blah...she goes home for Thanksgiving and her grandma blurts out "So, I hear you're in love with a darkie!" WTF??? Then she says that one of her young cousins blurts out "This is just like Save the Last Dance!" Bitch, spare me the punchlines...she knew that shit was inappropriate to share with the class with my black ass in there. That's like me sharing stories about my Uncle Killa-Cracka who holds aspirations to be like Nat Turner.

Let's analyze this shit:

1) For her little cousin to remark that her situation is just like "Save the Last Dance", not only would she have to understand what a "darkie" is, she would have had to hear the term before and accepted its usage. Mistake Number 1

2) Instead of being upset that her grandmother used a racist slur (and gawwddamn, a throwback one at that) in reference to this man she supposedly loves, this bitch laughs at her little red-necked cousin's festering ignorance. Mistake Number 2

3) The story was neither entertaining or thought-provoking. Mistake Number 3 (and perhaps the most costly of all) C'mon now!! You know Black folks like to laugh, that's why the blank channel, excuse me - BET, shows Comicview 6 nights out of the week....if you gotta say some ignant shit, at least make it funny ignant shit. Otherwise you are liable to be hit with the "WTF? face" and you don't want the "WTF? face" because it usually comes with some comment that's just plain evil.

***ADDED TODAY***

So on Tuesday in my advanced composition class we began genre assignments. To start us off, the teacher gave us 3 handouts on various genres, one on science fiction, one on the first person documentary and one on hip-hop (street/urban) fiction. See where this is going?...uh uh...In the second paragraph of the handout on street lit there is this sentence:

...it is set in the world of hustlers, pimps, thugs, chickenheads, blinged-out rappers or 'round the way baby mamas."

So of course we get in class and my dumb ass teacher says "Can anyone tell me what 'baby mama drama' means?" Hold on now bidnight, you cannot tell me that you have a freakin Ph.D and cannot infer what the term "baby mama drama" means? BITCH please. So me and the other TWO (WOOO HOO!!!) Black people sit ALL the way back in our chairs and see who will answer this. No one takes her bait. So of course she takes it upon herself to call out names. Now, keep in mind I already said that all THREE Black folks (myself included) were leaning in our seats like they were some old school Cutlasses. That should have sent the signal that we were not to be fukked wit, right? Guess body language is another barrier because she called on all three of us and got the same "WTF? face" and "Golly, I really don't know... answer from us all. So we moved the hell on...

You would think that was the end, right? Uh uh, ya'll know white folks always take it to the corners of the earth and back (after all, they were the ones that said the earth was flat, right?). The next time class meets, some broad brought in a printout from playahata.com (does this shit exist? Someone check for me, I'm too lazy..) and urbandictionary.com from which my teacher proceeds to read the "official" definitions of "baby mama drama", "chickenhead" and "bling bling". And OF FUCKIN' COURSE the man's name in both the examples of "baby mama drama" AND "bling bling" had to be....



Tyrone.

Stereotypes, what would America do without 'em?