Lovers and Friends

One movie (Collateral), 6 episodes of Sex and the City, 1 can of pineapples, one lemonade, 4 drafted blog entries and 5 games of Hearts and I still cannot sleep. Damn insomnia.

So I'm laying in my bed, wondering why in the hell I cannot sleep. And it hits me. No, I won't reveal the reason here, but those of you who know my recent habits know why. But anyways, I get to thinking and I've realized that I have been really blessed to have some great men in my life. I have had some true shining examples of what a real man is and should be. I've had more great guy friends than I can count. The one thought that made me realize this is when I thought about this guy I used to be friends with. Our relationship was so special. I really miss him now that I think about it. He was this regular dude from off the block, straight around the way. He moved in next door to me and somehow we got to talking. We were complete opposites on the surface. He smoked weed, ran the streets, didn't care about school and basically lived by his own rules. But over time we developed such a special bond. We would literally sit on my porch for hours and talk and listen to each other. He would analyze things I never would have thought about twice. He was so intelligent. We would stand on my porch and he would wrap his arms around me and we would just be. There were no pretenses, this was no game to get close or anything like that. There was an attraction, but there was such a meeting of the minds that the attraction took a backseat. Anytime he would try anything, I would turn him down. And he was sexy. But he was on an entirely different level than me and I knew that once I got in, there was no going back. He had 100% tatted on his hand - that should tell you something. So with the possiblity of any sexual relationship being nil, we had one of the greatest friendships I've ever shared with anyone. Over time, we grew apart, he got a girlfriend that was jealous, I got a boyfriend who was the same. We still speak, but not like we used to. I think now I might be a little more closer to his level on the relationship tip, but that's not what I want. I wish we could talk like we used to, but with significant others comes change and I guess that's just the way it is.

This leads me to a question that has been bothering me lately. Can a male and a femal ever have a completely platonic relationship? Some of my best friends ever have been male and I still find myself gravitating towards men more than women on the friendship tip. But, as I wrote in my other blog, I also recently realized something. At one time or another, almost all of my male friends have either tried to make our friendship something more, or revealed that they felt more for me and let me decide what to do. Is there always an underlying attraction when a man and a woman develop a friendship? And why do people say that it can't work? If our ability to be friends is based solely on our gender, or probably more accurately, our sexual preference, does that mean that girls cannot have lesbian friends either? I just find it hard to believe...I mean, one of my best girl friends recently "came out" to me and almost instantly her crazy ass girlfriend tried to insinuate that we had something going on. I would have been mad, except for the fact that her reason for thinking that was so absurd, I couldn't help but laugh. This is what happened:

Me and my girl went to eat lunch at the restaurant where her girlfriend was working at the time. So, we sit down to order and her girlfriend comes over, I greet her, tell her it's nice to meet her and go about my business. Next thing I know, she's pulling my friend aside and acting all out of place. Later, after we leave, my friend tells me that her girlfriend thought I was trying to get with her because I was dressed cute and had on a halter top that showed my breasts off. First of all, am I expect to dress like a bum? Now, I understand how some of the butch lesbians dress - hoodies and shit all the time - but I am a lady, and I will present myself as such as often as I please. Secondly, it was summer and I believe I was fully within my rights to wear a halter in the middle of July. And last, I have not worn a C cup since I was about 11, so anything I wear is bound to show the size of my breasts. Anyways, my friend calms me down after she told me the bullshit that was said and reassures me that she told her girlfriend that I am like her sister. Of course you recognize that your sister has breasts, but you could never look at her in that way. And that's exactly how it is.

So long story short, I believe that you can be platonic friends with anyone, regardless of sexual preference or gender. But are people like my friend's significant other right? Is it only a matter of time before one person is bound to try something more? Is there some kind of rule that says since there is such a great friendship, it is bound to work as more? I've heard that friends make the best lovers, but do we really feel the need to view all friends that are sexual preference matches as potential mates? I'm not convinced, but I'm being nice in saying that this thinking must have some grounds and they didn't just pull it out of their ass.

It's 5 am. I be bloggin, bitch.