Why Can't We Get Along?

This shit ain't all peaches and cream no mo.

One of the worst feelings in the world? Spilling out your feelings to someone and having them act like you just didn't say a damn thing.

The past two weekends I've been away from school. The weekend of my birthday I went to a conference and this past weekend I was in St Louis. So this past week, Slim and I may have talked a total of two or three times (not including the internet) before Sunday. Not from lack of calling on my part. His cell phone is off so I have to call him. However, I did my part and called that nigga at least 6 times over two days. So during our conversation on Sunday he lets me know that he's a little upset that apparently I'd chosen to leave rather than to try and see him. Now, mind you, this is the same nigga who went to Texas, Oklahoma, and Omaha, all without me saying a GODDAMN word. Now all of a sudden I go to a conference designed to enrich my college experience and go home for a weekend and I appear to be distancing myself from him? Someone pass me the "bullshit" card, please!

*snatches the card outta Star's (hey, she just seems like the type to have that shit ready and waiting...) hand and wave it in the air as I continue to speak*

This is what I'm saying: How in the hell am I supposed to know that he had plans to come see me? He didn't inform me until after I told him I was leaving and then he had the nerve to get an attitude! And not only that, but he was scheduled to go to Texas this past weekend and for some reason or other, shit fell through. So, not only was he late in telling me the first time, the second time I was some kinda fukkin' back-up plan! Smell shitty to anyone else?

*proceeds to shred the card to pieces and stomp on it screaming "Fuck yo card, nigga!!!"*

Please excuse the outburst...

Anyways, so after Slim tells me that I've been acting funny (distant) since my birthday, I proceed to think. Have I? Let's see....I still call his ass as often as I did before. I bought his ass a shirt from Express (that shit ain't cheap, even if it was on sale...), cut off other niggas for him, and am seriously considering making him the one and only, no strings attached. But I'm acting funny?! What da hell? Someone call a flag on the play! So he tells me that it just seems wierd that just as his feelings are getting deep, I seem to be pulling away. Excuse me, nagga? You are not the only one with feelings here! We eventually get off the phone and I tell him to check his email in the morning.

*holding my finger on the fast-forward button until approximately 20 minutes ago*

So I ask him if he got my email and he says "yeah". Ok...15 minutes of conversation pass and I say "thanks for emailing me back." (Sarcasm in FULL effect). He then had the nerve to tell me that if he would have emailed me back it would have been some "angry" reply. Hold up.....


WHAT DA FUKK IS GOING ON HERE?

Let me think...in my email I apologized (something I almost NEVER do) if he thought I had been acting distant and promised that wasn't my intention, told him I missed him and couldn't wait to see him and made a wish that we can get things back to being right between us. What in there could have possibly garnered an angry rise?

He tells me that although his heart was feeling what I was saying, something in his mind was saying "this is bullshit." I ask what exactly was bullshit about it? He says he doesn't exactly know because that's not what he felt about it but rather something in his mind that told him that. What exactly does that mean? Does this negro have split personalities? I know that sometimes the heart does battle with the mind, but dammit, there wasn't a THING in there for you to be in debate with yo damn self over.

So me and myself had a conversation and we concurred:

OK, you know what? FUCK IT. That stupid ass comment from him deaded the fuckin conversation. See if he receives another muthafuckin call from me THIS WEEK. He betta find a way to correct this shit because I'm through playing Captain-Save-A-Brand-New-Relationship. I ain't made for this shit. All this mess shouldn't even be coming into play in the first three months anyway. That nagga just don't know, if he keeps fuckin around he'll find himself outta rotation quicker than P. Diddy's den mother Jason. Buh-lee Dat.



*Footnote: If this muthafucka does the right thing and gets his shit together enough to null that stupid shit he said, disregard this entry as some angry black woman shit (just this ONCE). But, if by chance his ass stays fuckin up and you don't see his name in the future and find yourself asking "what had happened to dat Slim boy?", refer to this post, along with prior mentions of my low tolerance for bullshit and draw your own conclusion. That is all*