Musings of a young dame making it in this Texas-boy controlled world.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Losing

she keeps half necklaces with the word "friend"engraved on them
handing over the "best" part of herself
in hopes that this will be the one
who sees
that she is what he needs
she's losing
she's constantly misplacing
her faith
her love
entrusting it with men
who throw her memory deep into their pockets
only to be recovered during a lonely night
she's ready to give
so willing
that she doesnt concern herself with receiving anything
right now
not realizing
that if she keeps handing out pieces of herself
with no reciprocation
soon there will be
none left

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Now Boarding: Flight 5127B

If you are going to lie to me, fine.

Just please don't expect me to believe anything you ever say again.

This doesn't mean that if you tell me it's raining outside, I won't bring my umbrella. However, when it comes to real matters, serious matters, you will no longer be in my book of people to listen to.

"Why?", you ask? "That's the way it is", I reply.

"But Aries, don't people make mistakes?", you say. "Sure" is my response.

However, it's been my experience that people will ALWAYS take advantage when you give them the chance. Set a bowl of free peppermints on a table and folks will always take more than they really need. Well I refuse to have my trust be treated like excess freshmints, thrown into the bottom of purses and pockets, only to be discovered in the washer or dryer, then thrown away. (Like dat analogy? lol...)

I don't give people second chances very often. And I think it's fair. I'm (obviously) an Aries, therefore making it very hard for me to forgive and forget. Personally, it's almost impossible for me to fully forgive those who have done me wrong. So rather than trying to rejuvanate a relationship on a rocky foundation that has been jackhammered with lies, I would rather throw it all away and start fresh - with a new somebody.

So don't take it personal when you get demoted from "close aquaintance" to "this nigga I know". Just know that your lies wrote you a one-way ticket out of my tight circle of people I actually care about, and more importantly, TRUST.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Thy will be done

What can I say that hasn't already been said?

I don't have a TV in my dorm room so I hadn't been able to watch the footage. And maybe that was for the best. I just got home today and I've been in front of the TV. And now I'm sick. Sick to the heart. It just...HIT.

I feel so helpless. So small, so useless.

I've lifted my hands to my Lord and prayed that his will includes saving as many lives as possible.

I've joined efforts at my new school to raise money for the victims.

I'm working on a plan that will have people from my school use extra money on their meal accounts to buy ready to eat goods for the victims. We'll box them along with cases of water and send them to Houston's dome and to shelters in the area.

But I feel like I can't do enough.

These are people who look like me. Who talk like me. They pray like me. They cry like me. They praise like me. They could very well be me.

And it hurts my soul to see them treated this way.

Living in Third World conditions in what is supposed to be the best country in the world.

Thrown back into a time where we were considered 3/5ths human. What's the difference between then and now? They just found new ways to kill us. Neglect is just as bad if not worse than taking an active role in the deaths of so many.

Where is our humanity?

Where is our compassion?

Where is our sense of community?

I feel like I need to touch these people. Literally hold hands with them, reassure them that not all of us disregard their lives just because they are poor. Let them know that a lack of money does not mean that their lives lack meaning or value.

But my hands feel so small.

My efforts so little in the face of this enormous tragedy.

I don't want to seem dismal, but I'm in a state of disheartenment.

Lord, let your will be done. All I can is pray that your will includes saving as many lives as possible and letting us, and by us I mean ALL humanity grow from this.


Lord, I know my hands are small but I vow to use them in a MIGHTY way....I'll do my best. I'll do what I can. Cast your grace upon New Orleans. They need you, they need you in a big way, at this moment. They need you to work miracles, and Lord......






I know you can.